On the eve of our last 1st Birthday

Today was very emotional for me! I can’t believe my beautiful baby girl is turning ONE! How did this happen? Where did the year go? I remember all the anxiety I had last year on the eve of my C-section. It was terrifying because my body was telling me at 38 weeks IT WAS DONE! The pain & EXTREME 24/7 headaches finally took its toll. And although I knew in my heart it was going to be okay & that I had the best team of doctors in my corner,  I was still so worried. After being a mom of a preemie & then a miscarriage, I just wanted to have a healthy baby in my arms, in my room, and in the van on the way home with me a few days later. Thank God I got all of those things & so much more in my sweet Madeline.

But seriously how can this be out last 1st Birthday as a family? No more monthly chalkboard? No more 1st year milestones? Don’t get me wrong we are happy & content being a family of four. And I didn’t really enjoy being pregnant since I was so terrified all the time. But still I miss it. Now I am exactly two months away from my hysterectomy so those days are truly over. I’m sure I’ll have more to share on that later because although I want to have it done to prolong my life with my family, it’s still such an emotional mental journey to face in my 30’s.

So now as I bake cupcakes with Molly, take her shopping for sissy’s gift, & look at my growing list of last minute party preparations, I stop to watch my sweet Madeline. She’s so advanced for a baby on the eve of her 1st birthday. She’s growing so fast. I know she’s ready for all the new adventures the next year has to offer, but is mommy? No I don’t think so!

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All through my both pregnancies I did weekly chalkboards and also one for every month & holiday for the girls. 

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Holding back tears that it will be a year until I create her another chalkboard! 

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Our Easter Blessing Tree

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It’s officially Easter week! Can you believe it? It really seems as if time is flying. It feels like only yesterday when I was still very pregnant with Madeline and getting everything ready for Molly’s 2nd Easter. How can a year go by so fast?

Of course Molly is very excited about the promise of the Easter Bunny, CANDY, baskets, eggs, toys, & a reason to wear her pretty dress. But I really want to take the time to teach her and remind her what Easter is truly about. Now I don’t know if I subconsciously saw this on Pinterest one night when I should’ve been sleeping but just couldn’t wind down, or if the idea really did come to me all on its own from my scattered and frazzled mommy brain but this is what we did today. We made “Our Easter Blessing Tree” from the tree I painted on our family room wall. I try to do something to this tree every holiday since the wall is plaster and it is hard to truly decorate it with anything that’s not “scotch tape friendly”

I told Molly that we were going to sit down and make a list of all the people that we love and that we pray for every night. Then I would make Easter eggs out of colored paper and she could decorate them with markers and crayons. She got very excited and stated sprouting off names faster then I could write. Of course she said the usual, MaMa, DaDa, Madeline, Molly, etc. But between all of the special loved ones in her life she would say “and Jesus, and God, and Our Angels.” I got teary eyed because she really does listen to me when we say our prayers and that made my heart so happy. She of course listed every dog in our family and every person in her class & dance class but I convinced her that we could group them on to 3 eggs because I honestly was too pooped to cut out so many. Ha Ha!unnamed

I couldn’t believe how long she sat and spent on each and every egg. Like her MaMa she carefully selected every color for each person. And proudly showed me each one as she completed it.

Once she finished her master pieces we rolled up some tape and put them onto the wall. She told me where the ones she couldn’t reach should go. After all she is 2 & 1/2 so she knows best!

unnamed-2It was such a fun and touching project to do with her. I hope to make it a yearly tradition. We now have a holiday focal point to remind us the true reason why we celebrate. And all though she is 2& 1/2 she never told me to make an Egg for the Easter Bunny but Jesus, God, and Our Angels were at the top of her list. And although the rest of the day did not go smoothly and I’m now hiding out in my room blogging and trying to block out the temper tantrums and noise that my lovely little angels are creating for their daddy, I think of her list and tell myself, “Good Job Mama! You must be doing something right!”